Why Me?
by TheChildOfTheTardis
Summary: What if Bucky Barnes had been the one to walk away from the train? He'd seen his Steve fall and he'd taken over his role as Captain America. Now in the 21st Century Bucky Barnes is trying to figure out what that means to him. [ Stucky, AU, Bucky becomes Captain America, Loosely follows the plot of Winter Soldier ]
1. A Nightmare and A Run

**Why Me?**

 _Chapter 1 – A Nightmare and A Run_

Bucky woke up in panic.

His breathing was quick and rapid as he tried to calm himself. He looked at the darkened room around him. He slowly remembered where he was.

He'd had that dream again. The one that he always had. The one that he always woke up from sweaty and panicked.

 _It was back in the war. Their mission on the train. The moment that was always replayed for him in his sleep. The moment when Steve had fallen and he'd just watched helplessly._

Bucky glanced at the clock on his bedside table. He groaned and sat up in bed. It was too late to try to get back to sleep and even if he could get back to sleep he didn't want to risk having to replay watching Steve die again.

 _They'd returned to the base with the mission a success but with Captain America lost._

 _After much debate it was decided that Captain America had become too valuable a symbol to the American war effort to be lost. The most obvious candidate to replace Steve was unanimously agreed to be Bucky Barnes._

It was now two years since he'd been defrosted.

It was now two years since the battle of New York.

The world had changed so much whilst he was in the ice. That was still taking some getting used to. But to this brave new world Bucky Barnes was Captain America. Captain America was now an Avenger. The world has learnt that the history books were wrong, Steve Rogers was not the man wearing the stars and stripes uniform. Bucky found the celebrity status he'd gained to be disconcerting, he never knew what to make of it. Was it good or bad? Should he embrace it or resist it? However he was certain that he didn't like the way him being Captain America had seemingly erased Steve from being Captain America.

 _They still had the shield._

 _Whatever Zola had done to him had given Bucky increased strength. Not as much as Steve but better than nothing._

 _A new uniform could be made._

 _Bucky could become the new Captain America._

 _He'd agreed but on the condition it was kept hidden from the public that Steve was dead._

Bucky had got up, showered, had a coffee and decided that he might as well go out for a run. He ran where he always ran. Passing that guy who always seemed to be always be out running there.

"On your left."

Bucky passed him several times during his run. Each time saying "On your left."

At the end of his run Bucky approached him where he was sat recovering after his run with a slight grin on his face. "You didn't do too bad out there."

"Yeah, well not all of us can be super-soldiers. Dude, you just ran like ten miles in thirty minutes."

"Guess I didn't do too badly out there as well." Bucky held out a hand to help him up. "Bucky Barnes."

"Yeah, I kinda figured I was running with Captain America. I'm Sam Wilson."

A sad look feel over Bucky when Sam referred to him as Captain America. He knew that he was Cap –the whole world knew that now - but it still somehow hurt when people referred to him as Captain America, like every time he felt Steve's memory become just a little more forgotten.

Bucky was snapped from his thoughts by the sound of Sam's voice.

"You okay?"

"Yeah… Sorry… I'm just not used to everyone knowing I'm Captain America. It's kinda complicated… Hard to explain and understand…"

"It's because you lost your friend, isn't it?" Bucky nodded and Sam continued. "I get it. I was in the Fifty-eighth, Para-rescue. Night mission I lost my wingman Riley, nothing I could do it was like I was just in the air to watch. I get that guilt and regret you're carrying round with you."

"You're the first person I've spoken to who gets it, Sam." Bucky said with a slight smile.

"Coming back from war we've all got baggage, it's how we deal with that baggage that matters. Plus it can't be easy for you missing the 'good old days'."

Bucky shrugged. "Things aren't so bad now. You've cured a load of diseases, food is better now and you've got the internet. I can get a pizza delivered to my apartment without leaving my couch at any time, that's so much better!"

Before their conversation could progress any further a car pulled up to near where Sam and Bucky were talking. In the car was Natasha Romanoff. "Hey, fellas. Either one of you know where the Smithsonian is? I'm here to pick up a fossil."

"You know I'm not _that_ old, Nat." he said, rolling his eyes as he got into the car. Bucky glanced back at Sam. "Hopefully I'll see you again sometime, Sam."

With Bucky inside the car pulled off to take him and Nat to their mission. As they drove off Bucky kept thing about what Sam had said. Maybe he needed to stop living in the past.

Steve was gone.

The war was over.

The world had changed.

Maybe it was time to try and let go off his past and all that was holding him back. Not to forget Steve, he could never do that. But maybe he should stop seeing being Captain America as filling in for Steve but as a continuation of his legacy.

Lost in thought he tried to calm his racing mind. That was all great but right now he needed to think about the mission ahead of them. If he didn't he would potentially be putting his team at risk. He'd never do that.

Still Natasha's earlier mention of the Smithsonian had reminded him of that Captain America thing they had on. Maybe he should go to that after they'd finished the mission and see if it possibly helped him to figure out who he was and where he belonged.


	2. The Smithsonian

**Why Me?**

 _Chapter 2 – The Smithsonian_

As they'd anticipated the mission had been a success. Captain America and Black Widow always made a formidable team.

However whilst it had been an intelligence mission Bucky was leaving S.H.I.E.L.D HQ feeling like he knew less than he did before. He did not blame Nat for not telling him about her separate mission. Honestly, if he was in the same situation he would have done exactly the same as her.

He found himself infuriated by Nick Fury's misdirection, secret keeping and lies. And confronting Fury about his secretiveness had not helped him at all. Now as well as disagreeing with the secret keeping he also did not agree with Project Insight. He hoped that maybe he'd managed to give Fury a sense of why that project was such a bad idea. It wasn't freedom it was fear and it was wide open to being abused. As he left the Triskelion Bucky wondered if Fury might be up in office having a few second thoughts about if S.H.I.E.L.D should be going ahead with Project Insight.

But Bucky knew that no matter what he said the constant misdirection and secret keeping weren't going to be changing anytime soon.

Bucky didn't like that everything had become so secretive. He knew Fury's reasoning for keeping secrets and he could partially understand that. He knew the world was more dangerous now and secrets kept people safer.

So why did he feel conflicted about something that was keeping people safer?

Maybe his views were outdated. Maybe he was just a relic from a simpler time. But he wasn't going to change his mind and sacrifice his integrity. Steve wouldn't. And it wasn't in who Captain America should be to back down. Secrets might be keeping people safe but denying people information built ignorance. He also knew that teams worked best as a cohesive whole not as individuals with separate missions. Hadn't S.H.I.E.L.D learnt that when attempting to assemble the Avengers?

 _Bucky had been reluctant to join the Avengers initially. When he meet Stark he'd become even more reluctant to be a part of the team. He later realised that the anger directed at Tony had been completely misplaced. He now considered him a friend. In fact Bucky thought of all the Avengers as his best friends. Though that had only started to happen once they'd stopped being defensive and started to work as a team. The Battle of New York would have been lost if they'd thought solo. The Battle of New York was won by the Avengers working as a team._

With all these concerns over being a team player or an individual, keeping secrets and working for S.H.I.E.L.D were mixing with his earlier concerns about where his place was now and how best to deal with the death of Steve and being Captain America.

Bucky decided he was going to follow through on his plan to go to the Smithsonian and see that Captain America thing they had on. Hoping even more it might help him to figure out who he was and where he belonged.

 _Out of all his fellow Avengers, Bucky felt the strongest friendship with Nat. That's why S.H.I.E.L.D send them on missions together such as The Lemurian Star. They worked well together and respected each other as fighters. Him a soldier, her a spy. S.H.I.E.L.D had only ever seen Natasha Romanoff working so well with another person once before._

Bucky had walked into the Smithsonian semi incognito, despite the sunny day outside he wore a baggy hoodie with the hood up to help conceal his face. Once in and seemingly going unrecognised he headed straight for the Captain America exhibit, following hard to miss stars and stripes.

The exhibit told the story of the two Captain America's. It started with Steve Rogers, it continued with Bucky Barnes.

Him and Steve side by side. Just as it had always been.

Overall Bucky found himself surprised at just how good the exhibit was, his expectations had been low but the Smithsonian had created something that he genuinely enjoyed experiencing. However seeing the large images of the two of them both in the Cap uniform was disconcerting. And he couldn't help laughing slightly at the repeated references to the fact him and Steve had been friends. It was almost as if the curators had decided that the public needed reassuring that Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes had been friends but never anything more.

Still despite the occasional inaccuracy as Bucky walked round that darkened space - seeing his past consigned to the museum – he felt a sense of peace. It was the way the exhibit had been laid out to show the story of Captain America as beginning with Steve Rogers and continued by Bucky Barnes, it was like that was what he'd been needing to see. It dawned on Bucky that being Cap did not replace Steve, the two of them existed together and were part of one era spanning legacy. He wasn't going to be hanging up that red, white and blue shield anytime soon.

* * *

 _Thanks for the encouraging reviews. I hope this new chapter doesn't disappoint. I'm on Christmas Break currently and I'm hoping I can use the free time I now have to work on this._


	3. Fury is Dead

**Why Me?**

 _Chapter 3 – Fury is Dead_

Bucky returned to his apartment after what had felt like a very long day.

As he approached his door he heard music playing. That arose his suspicions. He knew he hadn't left his record player on. He entered his apartment as stealthily as he could, trying his hardest to make as little sound as possible.

One of the things that Bucky hadn't been expecting to find when he entered his apartment was Fury sitting there. "What the hell are you doing here? I don't remember giving you a key."

"You really think I'd need one? My wife kicked me out."

Bucky looked quizzically at him. "Didn't know you were married."

"There are a lot of things you don't about me."

"And that's my problem with you."

Bucky went to turn on the lamp nearest to them and with the increased light he noticed for the first time that Fury was injured. And injured badly. He was about to call for medical help but Fury indicated for him to be silent. Bucky nodded and turned off the light to give them more privacy. Fury got his phone out and started to write something on the screen that he showed to Bucky.

 **Ears everywhere**

On this occasion it looked like there may be a very good reason for the secrecy.

"I'm sorry to have do this, but I had no place else to crash." Fury wrote another message and showed it to Bucky.

 **SHIELD** **compromised**

Bucky didn't know how to react. This was big. "Who else knows about your wife?" he said, seemed like the most obvious thing to find out was who knew about the compromised SHIELD, who'd be on his team for this one.

 **You and me**

"Just...my friends."

"And we're friends?" Bucky knew that sounded kind of harsh but honestly that was how he felt.

"That's up to you."

Before anything else could be said there was a shot.

And another.

And another.

Fury had been shot three times.

Bucky glanced out of the smashed window to see if there was any sign of the shooter whilst also keeping an eye on Fury. The director looked in a bad way. A thought passed through Bucky's head that he wasn't going to make it.

Fury pressed the drive that Nat had saved the data from the The Lemurian Star on into Bucky's hand. "Trust no one…" He murmured as he passed out.

Bucky quickly radioed S.H.I.E.L.D that Fury was down and in need of emergency medical attention before he grabbed his shield and smashed through what was left of the window to go in pursuit of the shooter.

Bucky chased after the man. But he was fast.

Very fast.

Fast as if somehow – like him - he'd been enhanced.

Several windows had been smashed as Bucky chased him down to a rooftop.

Finally he was able to gain a proper look at the assassin. It was dark and it was hard for Bucky to pick out many identifying traits of the stranger. He could see he had tangled blonde hair. He could also see the silver gleam of a metal arm. But he couldn't pick out much more.

Aware that at any moment the shooter could flee from him Bucky threw his shield at the leather clad stranger in the hope it might knock him out. The shooter just caught the shield in his metal arm and threw it back at him.

The shield landed a direct hit on Bucky and although he quickly recovered from the impact the shooter was gone. Bucky ran to the edge of the building where the shooter had been standing to see if there was any evidence of where he'd gone in the street below but there was no trace that he'd ever even been there.

Bucky felt helpless and frustrated.

Though there was something else. Somehow the shooter had felt familiar. Yet he was certain none of the enemies of Captain America had a metal arm. Looked like he'd just ended up on a new mission.

Then Bucky remembered. Amid the chase he'd forgotten but there was a dying Nick Fury lying down in his apartment. He raced down to his apartment as fast as he could. Bucky contemplated calling the other Avengers however he decided against it. Clint was in a deep cover mission, Thor was somewhere unreachable, and Tony was with Bruce on a peacekeeping mission. Even if with the metal arm assassin on the loose he needed to assemble the Avengers he wasn't sure if he could contact them all given what Fury had said about S.H.I.E.L.D being somehow compromised. When Bucky made it back to his apartment the emergency med team he had called were already in position and transferring Nick to a hospital. Bucky followed the med team to the hospital where he met up with Natasha and Agent Hill both of whom had also rushed to the hospital to see if Fury would be able to make it.

Nat was the first to break the uncomfortable silence between the three of them, asking the question that they were all thinking at that moment. "Is he gonna make it?"

Bucky replied simply. "I don't know."

"Tell me about the shooter." Nat asked questioningly, almost as if trying to distract herself.

"I couldn't get a proper visual on him but he's blonde and he has a metal arm. He's fast and strong, really fast and strong like Captain America levels."

Nat then asked Hill about the weapons used. Bucky half listened to that though one detail of their conversation piqued his curiosity, how did Nat know that the weapons were Soviet made?

Before he could ask Fury's state deteriorated further.

He started to flat line.

Bucky watched helplessly.

Nat became more and more distressed seeing his life leaving him.

His time of death was called.

"Fury is dead."

As Bucky tried to comfort the grieving Natasha he felt the drive that Fury had given him was still in his pocket.

"Why was Fury in your apartment?"

"I didn't get chance to find out." He lied, but Nat didn't need this right now.

"You're my friend Bucky, I know when you're lying."

Before he had chance to think of a response Rumlow interrupted them demanding that Bucky return to S.H.I.E.L.D. Bucky grunted he'd be with them in a minute and Rumlow left the room.

"I promise I'll tell you later." He said as he gave Nat a quick goodbye hug.

"Not if I don't find out first."

With what he knew heading back to S.H.I.E.L.D felt very dangerous right now. Bucky felt as if he might be about to be walking into a trap.

Or an execution.

One thing he knew for sure was he couldn't go in there carrying that drive on him. Bucky noticed a vending machine was being filled up and quickly slipped it behind the packs of gum. He knew it was somewhat dangerous but it was also the best hiding place he could think of at short notice within the hospital. Free of the drive he joined the escort who were taking him back. This felt very ominous. Memories echoed of that time during the war when he was captured by Hydra.


	4. Going on the Run

**Why Me?**

 _Chapter 4 – Going On The Run_

Bucky has sensed something was off all morning. But that was not what Bucky had been expecting.

Fury's final words about not trusting anyone had come true. He hadn't expected that meant it went all the way up to Pierce.

He had not been expecting that he would have to go on the run from S.H.I.E.L.D.

It had all gone so quickly.

He'd been escorted from the hospital. Pierce and he had spoken. Then next thing Bucky knew he was in an elevator getting attacked by the strike team, led by a man who he'd been on a mission with about 24 hours ago. He used his shield to smash his way out of the elevator and fled from S.H.I.E.L.D and the Triskelion facility on his bike.

He was now on the run. First thing he needed to do was ditch the uniform.

So wearing a hoody and trying his best to blend in Bucky returned to the hospital to retrieve the drive Fury had given him. He didn't know how but whatever was on that drive was somehow connected to all this. However as he looked at the vending machine he saw the drive was gone.

"Looking for something?" Nat walked up behind him, she was holding the drive as she chewed a piece of gum. "Not a great plan to risk this on two people not buying gum."

"I was in a rush."

"Fury gave it to you, didn't he?"

Bucky indicated for Natasha to step out of the hallway with him into a closet. He didn't think S.H.I.E.L.D had bugged the hospital but it wouldn't be wise to discuss the sensitive information in the corridor. "He gave it to me in my apartment after being shot. What's on it?"

"I don't know. Why were you trying to hide it?"

"Fury told me S.H.I.E.L.D has been compromised. I just got first hand confirmation."

"How'd you find out?"

"By being shot at. I kinda became a fugitive on my way back here. I don't know why but I do know it's all connected to that drive and Fury's death."

"I know who killed Fury. Most of the intelligence community doesn't believe he exists, the ones who do call him the Winter Soldier. He's credited with over two dozen assassinations in the last fifty years."

"So he's what? A human weapon? Deployed for a mission then packed away?"

"Some say he's a ghost story. But I know he's not."

Bucky quirked an eyebrow quizzically.

"Five years ago I was escorting a nuclear engineer out of Iran, somebody shot at my tires near Odessa. We lost control, went straight over a cliff, I pulled us out, but the Winter Soldier was there. He had a metal arm and used the exact same Soviet made weapon Hill said Fury's killer used. I was covering my engineer, so he shot him straight through me." Natasha pulled up her shirt slightly to reveal the still very visible scarring from the wound on the side of her stomach. "Bye-bye bikinis."

"Because obviously you look awful in them now." Bucky had a crooked grin as he said that to which Natasha responded with a slight smirk.

"Going after the Winter Soldier is a dead end, Buck. I know, I tried"

"Maybe but we've got the drive, we can at least find out what the ghost wants."

Natasha explained how the drive had a level six homing program and that as soon as it was booted up the drive would alert S.H.I.E.L.D to exactly where they were. That was why they headed over to the Apple Store in the mall.

"How much time do we have?" Bucky asked as Natasha connected the drive to a computer

"About nine minutes... Fury was right about that ship, somebody's trying to hide something. This drive is protected by some sort of A.I, it keeps rewriting itself to counter my commands."

"Can you override it?" Bucky was wishing they had Tony with them, after all A.I was his speciality. But Tony Stark unavailable and Bucky trusted fully in Natasha's abilities.

"The person who developed this is slightly smarter than me, emphasis on the slightly."

Bucky was acutely aware of their nine minutes ticking away. And he was all too aware that decrypting the drive was proving increasingly difficult.

"I'm gonna try running a tracer. This is a program that SHIELD developed to track hostile malware, if we can't read the file then we're damn well going to find out where it came from."

Bucky waited for the programme to run as their nine minutes before S.H.I.E.L.D got there ran out. "You said nine minutes, come on they're up."

"Relax Buck. I got it."

The two of them looked at the screen to see the location that the file originated from.

"We got it, now let's go."

Bucky pulled the drive from the computer and exited the store out into the Mall. Looking around him he saw that S.H.I.E.L.D agents were all around them. Both of them had noticed the formation of the agents all around them.

"If they make us, I'll engage, you hit the south escalator to the metro."

"Shut up and put your arm around me, laugh at something I said."

Bucky looked uncertain.

"Just do it!"

Assuming that Nat knew what she was on about Bucky quickly puts his arm around her and laughed. To Bucky's amazement the agent just walked straight past them without any sign of suspicion that his targets were the happy couple.

"You're a solider, I'm a spy. Undercover is my thing."

They managed to keep sneaking through the mall heading out towards the exit without being detected by the strike team. However as they were going down an escalator Natasha spotted Brock Rumlow on the escalator going up next to them. Thinking quickly Natasha turned to Bucky.

"Kiss me now."

Bucky looked startled. "What?"

"Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable. Kissing me is how past chance of getting down this thing unnoticed."

Bucky nodded and Natasha quickly pulled him into a kiss. Her strategy worked making Rumlow look away as he goes pasted his two targets on the escalator.

"Uncomfortable?"

"Yes, that was gross. It was like I was kissing my sister."

"By the way, was that your first kiss since you were defrosted?"

"Yes."

"So there's no one special."

"I'm kinda still hung up on my boyfriend who fell off a train back in 1945."


	5. Learning Secrets

**Why Me?**

 _Chapter 5 – Learning Secrets_

Bucky and Nat drove to the coordinates in New Jersey that the tracer had identified the file as coming from. They pulled a car that they'd 'borrowed' up to an abandoned military base.

"This is it. The file came from these coordinates." As they exited the car Natasha started to scan the base to see if she could hopefully try and detect the location of the file.

"So did Steve, this is the camp where he was trained." Bucky had a distant look in his eyes thinking about Steve. Wondering what the scrawny pre-serum Steve would have been like in a military camp.

"Bucky you've got your Steve-look on again."

"My Steve-look?"

"When you think about him you always get this look. It kinda shows just how much you loved him. But there's also a bit of a look like you're asking yourself 'Why me', like you're wondering what if you'd fallen instead of him."

Bucky just nodded, Nat could read him like a book. She'd just described the thought that constantly played in his head.

To stop Bucky wallowing any further in the past Natasha brought him right up to that moment by telling him what her scan had found. "Anyway, coming here was a dead end. Zero heat signature, zero waves, not even radio. Whoever wrote the file must have used a router to throw people off."

"Or they built a building to throw people off." Whilst they'd been talking Bucky had notice one of the buildings seemed to be off. It had now clicked why. "Army regulations forbid storing ammunition within five hundred yards from the barracks. This building is in the wrong place."

They tried to see if the door would open. When it didn't Bucky bashed his shield onto the lock in order to force the door open. The lights turned on automatically at their presence revealing a logo that both of them were very familiar with.

"This is S.H.I.E.L.D."

They entered a room where several old framed portraits lined the walls.

"There's Stark's father."

"Howard Stark. Maybe this is where S.H.I.E.L.D started."

"Who's the girl?"

"Peggy Carter, she was quite the badass. Basically without her we wouldn't be here today." As they were talking and looking around the room Bucky stopped by a massive book shelf. Like the building itself something felt a little off about this bookcase. "If you already working in a secret office..."

He pushed the bookcase and found it slide open to reveal an elevator behind it.

"Why do you need to hide the elevator?"

The two of them entered the elevator and it descended. As they went down Bucky was really glad he'd brought his shield with him, he had a feeling that he might be about to need it. The automated doors of the elevator peeled open to reveal a room that was lined with old looking computers and databanks.

"This can't be where the file originated, this technology is ancient." Natasha looked around dismayed. Yet despite her doubting she notice the really old computer had a small flash drive port. She placed the drive in it and the drive activated the computer.

As the computer whirred into life a message appeared on the screen. 'Initiate system?'

As Natasha responded a camera near the computer seemingly scanned or analysed the two of them. Though a part of Bucky almost felt that it was looking at them.

Finally a voice crackled through the speaker. "Barnes, James Buchannan. Born, 1917. Romanoff, Natalia Alianovna. Born, 1984."

Bucky shuddered slightly. "Well that's unnerving."

"It's just some kind of a recording."

The computer responded. It almost sounded angry, but that wasn't possible for a computer. Was it? "I am not a recording, Fräulein. I may not be the man I was when Captain Barnes took me prisoner in 1945, but I am."

The screen crackled and showed a picture of Bucky's old enemy Doctor Zola.

"Do you know this thing?"

Bucky nodded an explained. "Arnim Zola was a German scientist who worked for the Red Skull. We captured him on the mission we lost Steve. But Doctor Zola has been dead for years."

"First correction, I am Swiss. Second, look around you. I have never been more alive. In 1972 I received a terminal diagnosis. Science could not save my body, my mind, however, that was worth saving on two hundred thousand feet of data banks. You are standing in my brain."

Bucky felt grossed out by that image.

"How'd you get here?"

"I was invited."

"Of course…" Natasha said with realisation. "Operation Paperclip. After World War II S.H.I.E.L.D recruited German scientists with strategic values. You know give them a second chance by helping America."

"They thought I could help their cause. I also helped my own."

"What cause? You don't have one anymore, HYDRA died with the Red Skull."

"Cut off one head, two more shall take its place."

"Prove it." said Bucky, challenging the computer. Not wanting to believe that what it was saying was real. Because if this Zola was right then they'd lost. Steve had died for nothing.

"Accessing archive." The data banks around them whirred. As Zola spoke the computer screen showed varying images that illustrated what he was saying. "HYDRA was founded on the belief that humanity could not be trusted with its own freedom. What we did not realize, was that if you try to take that freedom, they resist. The war taught us much. Humanity needed to surrender its freedom willingly. After the war, SHIELD was founded and I was recruited. The new HYDRA grew. A beautiful parasite inside SHIELD. For seventy years HYDRA has been secretly feeding crisis, reaping war. And when history did not cooperate, history was changed."

Natasha was disbelieving. Or to be more accurate she simply didn't want to believe what she was hearing. "That's impossible, S.H.I.E.L.D would have stopped you."

"Accidents will happen. HYDRA created a world so chaotic that humanity is finally ready to sacrifice its freedom to gain its security. Once the purification process is complete, HYDRA's new world order will arise. We won, Captain Barnes. Your friend, Captain Rogers died for nothing and your death amounts to the same as his life; a zero sum."

Taunting him about Steve was the last straw for Bucky. He lurched forward with a wild look in his eyes and smashed his shield into one of the computer screens. That screen flickered out. Bucky felt a teeny bit of relief but it was short lived as another nearby screen simply flickered back to life.

"As I was saying... What's on this drive? Project Insight requires insight. So I wrote an algorithm."

Natasha tried to ensure she didn't let her emotions get the best of her like Bucky's had. She asked calmly. "What kind of algorithm? What does it do?"

"The answer to your question is fascinating. Unfortunately, you shall be too dead to hear it."

Before either of them realised the doors had bolted shut. Presumably controlled by Zola. The screen now changed to show that a short range missile had been launched and was heading to their exact location.

"Admit it, it's better this way. We're both of us...out of time."

"Go back to hell where you belong." Bucky spat at the computer.

He noticed a small opening on the ground.

Bucky opened the small opening's door aside.

He grabbed Natasha.

He threw her and himself into the small shelter.

He held his shield up over them.

Bucky had acted just in time.

The missile struck and the whole place exploded, going up in flames. Bucky was so thankful that Steve had chosen the vibranium shield as it once again saved his life. At least now they knew who they were fighting.

HYDRA was back.


	6. Hide and Seek

**Why Me?**

 _Chapter 6 – Hide and Seek_

For now Bucky and Natasha had to assume that everyone in S.H.I.E.L.D might try to kill them. They needed a place to lay low and hopefully disappear from S.H.I.E.L.D's radar. Bucky decided it was a long shot but it might possibly be worth trying to see if Sam could help them hide. To their surprise Sam wasn't just willing to help them hide, he was also willing to join in the fight with them. They'd realised they needed to know more about Zola's Algorithm, especially given the imminent launch of Project Insight. Natasha had hacked into S.H.I.E.L.D and determine that Jasper Sitwell could be a HYDRA agent. They'd discretely bugged him and found their suspicion confirmed and that was why Bucky was throwing Sitwell across a rooftop in Washington flanked by Natasha.

"Tell me about Zola's Algorithm." demanded Bucky.

"Never heard of it."

"Then what were you doing on the Lemurian Star?" demanded Natasha

"I was throwing up, I get seasick." Bucky grabbed Sitwell by the collar and forced him to the edge of the rooftop, as he nearly dangled on the edge the HYDRA agent just smiled at Bucky. "Not exactly Captain America's style to throw someone off a building.

"You're right. It's not if Steve Rogers is the man in uniform. But unluckily for you I'm Bucky Barnes."

Bucky let go of Sitwell and Natasha added a kick as he fell off the roof, plummeting down.

Natasha and Bucky stood there for a moment. Then Sam appeared over the rooftop with his Falcon jet-pack. He flew up to join Bucky and Nat holding Sitwell and throwing him down onto the roof.

The trio walked towards Sitwell.

"Zola's Algorithm is a program...for choosing Insight's targets!"

"What targets?" demanded Bucky.

"You three! A TV anchor in Cairo, the Undersecretary of Defence, a high school valedictorian in Iowa city. Tony Stark, Clint Barton, Bruce Banner, anyone who's a threat to HYDRA! Now, or in the future."

"The Future? How the hell could it know?"

"Zola's algorithm evaluates peoples' past to predict their future. Your bank records, medical histories, voting patterns, e-mails, phone calls, your damn SAT scores. The 21st century is a digital book. Zola taught HYDRA how to read it."

That sinking feeling that Steve had died for nothing and he'd gone into the ice in vain was once again clawing deep within Bucky. But he tried to not let that show as he continued the rooftop interrogation. "And what then? What then?!"

"Then the Insight Helicarriers scratch people off the list. A few millions at a time."

They bundled Sitwell into a car and headed over to the triskelion. Bucky stared somewhat blankly out of the window as Sam drove. The plan was simple enough they simply needed to use Sitwell to bypass the DNA scans so they could access the Helicarriers directly and disable them. Yet given how much was at stake Bucky wondered if this might almost be too easy. He'd learnt a long time ago that HYDRA should never be underestimated.

Bucky was roused from his pondering by a bang on the roof of the car.

"What the hell was that?"

A metal arm burst through the car window and pulled Sitwell out, it threw the HYDRA agent out of the car and into the oncoming traffic, killing Sitwell.

"Shit, we got company."

The Winter Soldier then started to shoot at them. Thinking quickly Bucky slammed on the car break, making the Winter Soldier loose his footing and fall onto the road. However the advantage was short lived as another car smashed into their car and pushing them along. That was enough time for the blonde assassin to get back on his feet and going back after Bucky and his friends. Natasha started shooting at the Winter Soldier but it was no good, he kept coming.

"This is a stupid idea but hang on!" cried Bucky. He broke the door off from the car. Then he grabbed hold of Natasha and Sam. He pulled them onto the car door and they slide on the car door down the road. Finally they gained some distance on the metal armed man and finally they gained a chance to think about how they were going to attack.

Bucky, Natasha and Sam readied themselves to fight the Winter Soldier. Unfortunately for them at that moment the Winter Soldier was joined by a group of HYDRA agents.

The HYDRA agents started shooting at them and the trio scattered, running off in different directions. However as he ran Bucky noticed that Nat had managed to shoot the eye mask off the Winter Soldier. Bucky was struck by a feeling of familiarity, just as he'd felt on the rooftop.

Bucky kept running.

Kept dodging gun fire from the assembled HYDRA agents.

He also smashed several HYDRA agents in the face with his shield.

Then he noticed that Natasha was engaging the Winter Soldier himself.

And she'd got shot in the shoulder.

Instinctively Bucky jumped in and attacked him.

As they fought Bucky sustained several hits but he fortunately managed to avoid any serious injuries. He was strong, superhumanly strong and metal arms were definitely an unfair advantage in a fight. Bucky tried to hit the Winter Soldier with his shield and in doing his mask came off

Whatever he'd been expecting it hadn't been that.

"Steve?"

"Who the hell is Steve?"

The fight was suddenly drained from Bucky and as he went to shoot him Bucky was only saved by Sam swooping in to save him. Sam tried to engage the HYDRA super solider to little effect. With Natasha shot and Bucky numb in a state of shock HYDRA agents surrounded them. They could have kept fighting but it was suddenly pretty clear that they were near completely overwhelmed. As Bucky was escorted by the HYDRA agents into a van with Sam and Natasha he kept replaying the moment with Steve in his mind.

How could he be here?

How could he be HYDRA?

How could he have failed his boyfriend?

That look of a complete lack of recognition when he'd seen him haunted Bucky. Once again he thought back to the train. And the fall. And how he'd survived. "Why me?"


	7. The End of SHIELD

**Why Me?**

 _Chapter 7 – The End of S.H.I.E.L.D_

"It was Steve. He looked right at me and he didn't even know me."

Bucky, Natasha and Sam were sat in the back of a S.H.I.E.L.D – actually HYDRA – van being taken somewhere. Natasha was bleeding heavily from where she'd been shot. Bucky was still in shock at seeing Steve Rogers again.

"How's it even possible?" asked Sam. "Everyone knows the original Cap died."

Bucky gave a deflated sigh, similar questions had been bothering him. "The super soldier serum must have meant he survived the fall. And I'm here now physically unchanged so maybe HYDRA found Steve and then froze him."

"None of that's your fault, Buck." Natasha muttered weakly.

"I know but… Even when we had nothing, Steve and I still had each other."

From that moment things all happened in a blur…

Sam demanded medical attention for Natasha from the HYDRA agent who was with them. Turned out that underneath the helmet was Agent Hill. With help from Hill the trio escaped from the van and finally managed to get away from HYDRA. Hill led them to a secret facility that was fortunately still under S.H.I.E.L.D control. Natasha was taken to have her wound finally looked at.

With the wound being treated Hill then led Bucky, Sam and Natasha through to another part of the secret facility.

"About damn time."

To everyone's surprise Nick Fury lay there.

"You died. They cut you open, your heart stopped." Exclaimed Bucky incredulously.

"Tetrodotoxin B. Slows the pulse to one beat a minute. Banner developed it for stress. Didn't work so great for him, but we found a use for it."

Bucky sighed. "You always have a plan, but why all the secrecy? Why not just tell us?"

"Any attempt on the director's life had to look successful." Explained Hill.

"Can't kill you if you're already dead. Besides, I wasn't sure who to trust."

Whilst Fury's secret keeping and lying still infuriated Bucky he had to admit that plan made a lot of sense.

"We have to stop the Insight launch, that's our priority." Said Natasha, the bleeding was under control and her wound was treated.

"I don't think the Council's accepting my calls anymore. But I do have this…"

Fury opened a case containing three chips. Bucky had no idea how they were to use them and what they'd do but he guessed they must be important.

"Once the Helicarriers reach three thousand feet, they'll triangulate with Insight satellites becoming fully weaponized." Hill started to explain.

Fury continued the explanation. "We need to breach those carriers and replace their targeting blades with our own."

"One or two won't cut it. We need to link all three carriers for this to work, because if even one of those ships remains operational a whole lot of people are gonna die."

"We have to assume everyone aboard those carriers is HYDRA. We need to get passed them, insert the server blades, and maybe, just maybe, we can salvage what's left..."

Bucky, Nat and Sam had been listening to Hill and Fury's briefing but at the mention of salvaging something Bucky interjected. "We're not salvaging anything. We're not just taking down the carriers, Nick, we're taking down S.H.I.E.L.D."

Fury for once looked surprised. "S.H.I.E.L.D had nothing to do with it."

"Look you gave me this mission and I say this is how it ends. S.H.I.E.L.D's been compromised, you've said so yourself. HYDRA was right under your nose and nobody noticed. S.H.I.E.L.D partially started because of Captain America and now I'm ending it."

Despite what Bucky said Fury was still unconvinced. Fury couldn't help wondering if Steve might have been better at following orders if he'd got him as Captain America. "Why do you think we're meeting in this cave? I noticed."

Bucky crossed his arms, unwilling to back down on this. "But how many paid the price before you did notice?"

"I didn't know about Steve Rogers."

As many other people had found out recently it was a big mistake to try and use Steve in an argument against Bucky. "Even if you had known that the original Captain America - my boyfriend – had become a HYDRA assassin would you have told me? Or would you have compartmentalized that information too? After all you already have a Captain America, an extra asset could have been useful. I'm sorry but S.H.I.E.L.D and HYDRA, it all goes."

"He's right Nick." said Natasha.

Fury looked at Hill who nodded in agreement with Bucky.

Then Fury turned to look at Sam.

"Don't look at me. I do what he does, just slower."

The group discussed their strategy for the attack on HYDRA and the end of S.H.I.E.L.D, fortunately when Hill had escaped from the Triskelion she'd managed to take various bits of tech with her. To Bucky's relief they also had a Captain America uniform in the secret base, he was hoping that seeing the uniform he'd once worn might trigger something in Steve.

After they'd finalised the plan Bucky just felt like he needed some air to clear his head a little. Bucky was stood on a bridge outside the secret base. As he stood there he had several flashback to various moments he'd spent with Steve. All the clichéd couple things like first kisses and long nights spent together but also things that were just them.

 _In Brooklyn when they were younger…_

" _Thank you, Buck, but I can get by on my own."_

" _The thing is, you don't have to. I'm with you till the end of the line."_

 _The time he'd made Steve ride the Cyclone on Coney Island and Steve had thrown up._

 _The many times he's nude modelled for Steve to draw him. And the many times that had ended in the bedroom._

 _When Steve had rescued him after he'd been captured._

" _I thought you were dead."_

" _I thought you were smaller."_

However, Bucky's thoughts were interrupted by Sam joining him on the bridge.

"He's gonna be there, you know?"

"I know."

"Look, whoever he used to be, the guy he is now, I don't think he's the kind you save. He's the kind you stop."

"I can't stop him, I know my Steve must be still in there."

"Well, he might not give you a choice. He doesn't know you."

"He will."


	8. Till The End Of The Line

**Why Me?**

 _Chapter 8 – Till The End Of The Line_

This was it.

The morning of the launch.

The day they took down both HYDRA and S.H.I.E.L.D.

The day he fought with Steve.

They'd broken into the Triskelion. Nat and Hill were in position to execute their parts of the plan whilst Sam and Bucky made their way up to the communications array. The met surprisingly little resistance on their way. Maybe not everyone believed that Captain America was a traitor. Bucky was thankful for this tough he knew that the real battle was still to come.

Once in the communications array Bucky took the microphone. He knew what he had to do.

"This is Bucky Barnes. You've heard a lot about me over the last few days, some of you were ordered to hunt me – some of you probably shot at me. But it's time you learnt the truth. S.H.I.E.L.D is compromised, HYDRA has been growing inside right under our noses from day one. Alexander Pierce is their leader. The STRIKE and Insight crew are HYDRA as well. I don't know how many more people are HYDRA, but I know they're in the building. HYDRA almost has what they want: absolute control. They shot Nick Fury and it won't end there. If you launch those Helicarriers today, HYDRA will be able to kill anyone that stands in their way, unless we stop them. I know I'm asking a lot, but the price of freedom is high, it always has been, and it's a price I'm willing to pay. And if I'm the only one, then so be it. But I'm willing to bet I'm not."

"Did you write that down first, or was it off the top of your head?" asked Sam afterwards.

"I just thought what Steve would say."

Before anymore could be said Bucky heard Hill on their intercoms. "They're initiating launch."

Sam and Bucky looked at each other and made their way to the Helicarriers to stop the launch.

"Hey, Cap, how do we know the good guys from the bad guys?"

"I usually go with if they're shooting at you, they're bad."

They launched themselves onto the Helicarriers and immediately started to get shot at by HYDRA agents. Yet Bucky and Sam still kept going onwards. Bucky could only focus on how his part of the mission was going. He hoped Sam and Natasha were winning but as he was fighting off the HYDRA agents all around him as he tried to get inside the Helicarrier to insert the chip into the targeting blade system he was concerned with trying not to get himself killed.

"Eight minutes, Cap." Came Hil's voice over the comm.

"Working on it."

Bucky made his way to the targeting blade system where he needed to insert the chip. After being shot at more times than he could count he finally got there. Going up against HYDRA was always a challenge but his time with S.H.I.E.L.D and the Avengers had definitely improved Bucky's fighting style and ability. He got through the agents and the first chip was inserted into the targeting blade system of the first Helicarrier.

"Alpha locked."

Moments later he herd Hill over the intercom. "Two down, one to go."

That was the easier part. More HYDRA agents were on the Hellicarrier and they were chasing Bucky. "Hey Sam, I'm gonna need a ride."

"Roger! Let me know when you're ready."

They kept shooting and Bucky impulsively jumped off the edge of the Helicarrier. Just in time as a HYDRA agent shoot a missile at him.

"Sam I just did"

Sam managed to fly in just in time to catch Bucky from falling. Holding onto Bucky he flew up to the last Helicarrier ready to insert the final chip.

Unexpectedly Steve – no the Winter Soldier – appeared.

Bucky's first move was to throw hiss shield at the Winter Soldier but as had happened back on the rooftop he just threw it back at him. Bucky was temporally down an in that moment the Winter Soldier pushed Sam off the Hellicarrier, ripping one of the Falcon wings in the process. Bucky watched unable to help Sam, fortunately moments later Sam buzzed in. "Cap? Cap, come in. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm still on the Helicarrier. Where are you?"

"I'm grounded, the suit's down."

"Looks like it's a one on one fight then."

Just like old times. Captain America vs HYDRA.

Except it was different now. Now it was Bucky vs Steve.

The Winter Soldier obviously knew that Bucky wouldn't stay down for long. Once he'd caught his breath Bucky made his way inside the Helicarrier ready to insert the disabling chip. In front of the targeting blade system however stood Steve.

"Innocent people are gonna die. We can't let that happen, Steve."

Steve just stared at him coldly. Any trace of recognition did not show.

"Please, don't make me fight you."

Still nothing from Steve. He wasn't just going to back down like Bucky had hoped he might.

So Bucky threw shield at him. And the Winter Soldier started to fight him. Bucky was hating every second of it. The pain he was feeling as they fought only hurt slightly more than the pain of having to hurt Steve. Yet they kept going. And as they fought Bucky had managed to get closer and closer to the targeting blade system. Just as he was in reaching distance of inserting the final chip Steve attacked him and the chip fell out of Bucky's hand

Both leaped down frantically trying to find that chip. They thought and it passed back and forth between the two of them.

Bucky suddenly realised something.

They were too easily matched. They could anticipate each other's every move.

The only way that he could get that chip and insert it in time was if Bucky got the Winter Soldier unconscious.

So he did.

Once he was out his grip on the chip loosened.

Bucky grabbed it and ran back up to the targeting blade system.

"One minute." Buzzed in Hill.

Bucky desperately tried to get back up but the wounds he'd already sustained were drastically slowing him down. Steve had also regained consciousness and shot at Bucky.

Hill buzzed in again. "Thirty seconds, Cap!"

Bucky pushed onwards. He got the original chip out. But as he did so Steve shot at him again. Bucky was aware that every passing second meant the launch was getting ever closer. In what must have been the last possible moment Bucky managed to get up and place the chip in the targeting blade system.

"Charlie locked." He buzzed into Hill.

"Okay, Cap, get out of there."

"Fire now. If you don't fire now HYDRA might be able to regain control of the Helicarriers. I'm Captain America, I'll survive."

Seeing the explosions going off outside Bucky had to assume that Hill had clicked fire. Now he needed to get out of there. Bucky could have just jumped out but seeing Steve below him, trapped and helpless he knew that he just couldn't leave him there.

Bucky jumped down and tried to help Steve out from some rubble that had fallen on him during the destruction of the Helcarrier.

"You know me."

"No, I don't!"

"Steve, you've known me your whole life. You love me."

Steve lashed out at Bucky but Bucky chose not to fight back.

"No, I don't!"

Bucky removed his mask so that Steve could see him properly. "Your name is Steven Grant Rogers. You're the man I love."

"Shut up!"

"I'm not gonna fight you. You're my boyfriend."

Steve mercilessly punched Bucky repeatedly but still Bucky chose not to fight back.

"You're my mission."

"Then finish it. But Steve, I'm with you till the end of the line."


	9. Recovery

**Why Me?**

 _Chapter 9 – Recovery_

"… I'm with you till the end of the line."

As Bucky said those words a change came over Steve. It was only small but Bucky saw it. Something in the way he looked at him.

"Buck…" Steve said. His voice was low, almost a whisper and sounded full of fear. His body relaxed and he loosened his grip on Bucky. However before anymore could be said they were falling. Hill's fire on the Hellicarrier had arrived and they were falling out and into the river below.

Bucky realised he'd blacked out during the fall when he came two in a hospital room. He could feel he had things on him monitoring his vitals and was all bandaged up. As he opened his eyes he saw Natasha was stood by the foot of his bed.

"Hello." He croaked out with a slight smile.

"Was beginning to wonder when you were going to be coming round." Said Natasha with a smirk.

"I'm Captain America, I survive. What happened?"

"You were found unconscious on the banks of the river next to the Winter Soldier. At first we thought he'd killed you then killed himself."

Bucky felt horrified, had he just found Steve only to lose him again.

"But when we got there it turned out he'd pulled you out of the water only for him to pass out too."

"So Steve's alive?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes, Steve is alive. Though unlike you he's yet to regain consciousness."

"Do you think he will?"

"I don't know. His brain may have shut down permanently due to whatever it was HYDRA did to him or he might make a full recovery within an hour. There's no way of knowing. And even if he does wake up it might not be good news. He might still be HYDRA."

In time Bucky healed and was discharged from the hospital. Once he was discharged the first thing that he did was find Steve to see how he was.

Steve was still unconscious and Bucky sat down beside him. He'd heard it said that unconscious people could still hear what was going on and if someone was talking to them they might be able to regain conscious. Bucky wasn't sure if that was true but it seemed like something that was worth a try.

"Hey Steve, I missed you a lot. I guess I should start b saying that I took over as Captain America after you fell off the train. It's taken me a long time to get used to being Cap but I've realised that I did it in order to continue your legacy – when I thought you were dead by being Cap a part of you was able to live on through me. If you worried that I won't like you with a metal arm then don't, I bet you can still hug just as well as you always could. I never stopped loving you and I don't think I ever will. I really meant what I said all those years ago in Brooklyn, I'm with you till the end of the line. I hope when you wake up, I say when not if because I know you're going to wake up eventually, I hope that when you do you can remember me and remember what we had. During the war HYDRA took so much from us, I don't want them to have taken everything that made my Steve the greatest man alive away from me too."

Bucky wanted to keep talking but he knew that if he tried to say anymore he'd just start crying.

 _One Year Later_

A lot can change in a year.

Bucky had certainly found that out in the past year.

He lay awake in bed not quite able to fall asleep yet. To his left was Steve who was already sound asleep. As he lay awake Bucky's mind thought over everything that had happened.

Once he'd woken up Steve had initially only been able to remember fragments of who he was. It was incredibly frustrating at times but Bucky stuck by him the entire time. He knew that Steve was worth it and that if their roles were reserved Steve would be doing exactly the same thing. On top of trying to remember who exactly he was Steve had the difficulty of trying to figure out the 21st Century. Remembering what that was like Bucky tried his best to help Steve.

Steve had joined the Avengers in a reserve position, Bucky had offered to give up being Captain America to him but Steve had preferred to keep using the Winter Soldier identity and in using it to do good he could subvert what HYDRA had intended him to be.

Over time more and more came back but there were still gaps.

Those gaps were filled by Wanda Maximoff off the coast of Wakanda during the Ultron incident. Under instruction from Ultron she'd tried to mess with Steve's head during her attempt to distract and disunite the Avengers. However Steve's head was already a mess after everything HYDRA had put him through and what Wanda had actually succeeded in doing was breaking down the last of the barriers in Steve's mind giving him back all of his missing memories.

After Ultron with his memories back Steve had decided to retire the Winter Soldier. He realised he had kept using that name as a part of him was still under HYDRA control. Now with that part freed he could leave the Winter Soldier behind. Steve had decided that he was going to become Nomad – the man without a country. He got a new costume designed for him and became a permanent member of the Avengers.

Bucky yawned

A lot had changed in a year. Bucky had his Steve back. And as the ring on his finger showed they were going to be getting married!

* * *

Well that's it! I hope that conclusion didn't disappoint for you. An enormous thank you to absolutely everyone who has read this story. I've enjoyed writing it and hope you enjoyed reading it.


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